Things I’ve learned by my 25th birthday

Pred dva dana sam napunila 25! Neki kazu da je puno, neki da sam sad blize 30 nego 20, a neki da je ovo najbolje doba u mom zivotu. Sa zadnjim se slazem! Stvarno osjecam da sam postigla poprilicno sa svoje bucket liste ovih godina i definitivno sam kroz sve to naucila puno! Ovo su moja otkrica u mojih 25 godina na ovom svijetu.


Two days ago was my 25th birthday! Some say it’s a big number, some say I am now closer to 30 than to 20 and some say it’s the best time of my life. With the last one I will agree! I feel like I really accomplished a lot from my bucket list in these years and I definitely learnt A LOT! So here is what I discovered in my 25 years on this beautiful planet.

 

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Nitko ne moze odluciti umjesto tebe i biti odgovoran za tvoje poteze. Samo ti! Naucila sam da moram slusati svoj instinkt i misljenje vise od svih drugih jer to je jedini recept za vlastitu srecu i zadovoljstvo. I postedi kasnijih svadja (“ti si mi rekla da to napravim ovako i sad mi je zivot unisten”).

No one can make decisions for you and be responsible for your actions. It’s only you! I have learnt that I have to value my own gut feeling and opinion the most and then it’s people who surround me because that is the only recipe for my own happiness and satisfaction. And it also spares me later conflicts (“you told me to do so and now it’s wrong”).

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Nikad nisam bila jedna od onih cura koja ima milijun odlicnih prijatelja. Uvijek sam imala par stvarno dobrih koji su i danas moji prijatelji. Kad sam se selila u Svedsku, nije bilo lako. Ubrzo sam postala svjesna kako je lako izgubiti kontakt s ljudima koji mi znace puno. Danas smo naucili i jedni i drugi kako odrzavati odnos, ali i da se na tome mora raditi. Vjerujte mi na rijec, prijatelji su prebitni i ako ih izgubite, sto ste stariji, teze je naci nove. Naucila sam i prepoznati prijateljstva koja nisu toliko bitna i prestala trositi energiju na njih.

I have never been a girl surrounded by tons of super good friends. I always had a couple of them and they are still my friends today. When I was moving to Sweden, it was not easy. I became aware of how easy it is to loose the contact with people who matter. We went back on the track and saved our relationship but I definitely had to learn that every friendship needs maintenance. I also learnt to recognize not so important relationships and stopped wasting my energy on them.

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Naravno da jesu! Jer uvijek ima neceg sto nemas u svojoj drzavi i uvijek moze biti bolje, drugacije, zanimljivije, izazovnije. Zivot van Hrvatske je normalan (a ponekad i normalniji) i mozda ti se svidi, a mozda ne. Doma se uvijek mozes vratiti i nije grijeh biti zeljan istrazivanja i pokusaja negdje drugdje (koliko god to hrvatski mediji pokusavaju tako prikazati). Idi, probaj, uzivaj u onom sto svijet nudi jer nikad nije bilo lakse spakirati se i otici. Bolje probati nego se citav zivot pitati jel’ moglo biti bolje.

Of course! There will always be something that doesn’t exist in your country and that can be better, different, more interesting and challenging. Life abroad is normal (sometimes more than at home) and maybe you will like it, maybe not. You can always come back home! Go, enjoy what the world offers because it was never easier to do it. Better to try than to ask yourself your whole life what could have been if you did it.

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Ovo jos uvijek ucim i ovo je nesto u sto zaista vjerujem, onako cvrsto. Samo ti mozes uciniti sebe sretnim. Ti biras ljude koji te okruzuju, s kojima se druzis, s kojima zaspis navecer i s kojima osnivas obitelj. Svoju srecu biras birajuci pomno individue u svom zivotu. Isto vrijedi i obratno – sami izabiremo ljude koji nisu dobar izbor za nas i odlucujemo o tome hoce li ili nece ostati u nasem zivotu. Naravno, pricamo o prijateljima i partnerima. Dakle, birajuci ljude s kojima se osjecamo dobro, s kojima se razumijemo i s kojima imamo pozitivne emocije, biramo svoju srecu.

I am still learning this one and I truly believe in it. Only you can make yourself happy. You choose people that surround you, you choose who you hang out with, you choose who you sleep with and who you have a family with. By carefully choosing people, you choose your happiness. The same goes for unhappy – we choose people who are not a good match for us and decide to keep them in our life. Of course, we are talking about friends and partners and I actually really believe in this.

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O da. Uglavnom vezano za sve sto se tice “kako zivot funkcionira”. Jer neke se stvari ne mijenjaju. Eh, da mladi mozak zeli poslusati! Znate koju ja pamtim najvise? Uci jezike, trebat ce ti. Jer nikad ne znas kad ces se udavati za Svedjanina i trebat ce ti svedski.

Oh yes, in mostly everything related to how the life functions. Because some things never change. If only a young brain would listen!

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Mozes imati 7 diploma, ali bez ikakvog radnog iskustva bit ce ti tesko konkurirati jer danas (skoro) svatko ima priliku studirati, tisuce je odlicnih studenata s dekanovim nagradama i svaka mala razlika radi cuda. Bilo kakvo radno iskustvo koje mozes ubaciti u svoj CV je vrijedo, bilo to cuvanje klinaca (odgovornost, povjerenje, organizacija) ili dijeljenje letka na trgu (komunikacija, prodaja). Prosla sam dobar broj intervjua u zivotu i uvijek se sve vrti oko iskustva, vjestina i sposobnosti, a ne oko ocjene koju ste dobili na obrani diplomskog.

You can have 7 diplomas, but without experience it’s so hard to compete. Today (almost) every person has a chance to study, there is tons of great students with different accomplishments so every tiny difference matters. Any working experience that you can add to your CV is valuable, no matter if it’s babysitting or handing out flyers. I did a good number of interviews in my life and it’s never about your final grade but about the skills and experiences.

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To je to, bez puno mudrosti. Nikad nisam ovo shvacala ovoliko ozbiljno kao danas.

Simple as that, I never saw this more clear than now.

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Pogledaj video ovdje.

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Samo cu dati primjer. Moj tata je policajac, a mama uciteljica po struci. Danas vode uspjesan obiteljski business u totalno desetoj industriji i uskoro ce biti 25. godisnjica! Oni su takodjer i prvi primjer koji slijedim u zivotu bas zbog toga.

I will just give you an example. My dad is a policeman. My mom is a teacher. Today they run a very successful family business in a totally different industry and it will soon be 25 years! Also, they are my biggest career role models. 

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Klasicna muka. Nisam dovoljno zgodna, da sam barem mrsavija, kosa mi je grozna, trepavice su mi kratke. Pronalazak samopouzdanja je jedna od najtezih “zadaca” u zivotu i u odnosu sa samim sobom, ali isto tako ce te uciniti sretnijim vise nego ijedan kozmeticki proizvod na trzistu. Pogledaj se u ogledalo i daj pet toj curi jer je svoja i jer ponosno nosi sve sto ima, i iznutra i izvana!

Classic struggle. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, hair not long enough, eyelashes not curled enough. Finding self-confidence is one of the hardest tasks in life and our relationships with ourselves but it’s also the one that will make you feel better than any product on the market. Look in the mirror and give that girl a high five for being herself and embracing everything she has!

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Svemu. Ja vjerujem u prilike. Nikad ne znas (ni ja nisam znala da cu se udavati za stranca iz aviona). Ali ne ponavljaj istu gresku dva puta, molim te.

To anything. I believe in chances. You never know (neither did I know I would be getting married to a stranger on the plane). But please don’t repeat your mistakes twice.

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Torta. Ili mali shopping. Ili totalno neradni dan doma u pizdami. Ili “Sam u kuci” usred ljeta. Ponekad ti treba date sa samim sobom jer vrijeme koje provodimo sa svojim mislima ide u onu “personal growth” kategoriju, bar u mojoj glavi.

A cake. Or a tiny shopping. Or a lazy day at home in a pajama. Or “Home Alone” movie in the middle of the summer. Sometimes you need a date with yourself too because time with ourselves is important for our personal growth.

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Zaista, onako iskreno (a to sam uvijek), ne razumijem ljude koji ne zele napustiti svoj stan iako imaju prilike. Ne pricam o putovanju na drugi kraj svijeta, moze biti i 50 kilometara za setnju po sumi. Nista, ali nista na ovom svijetu nece te nauciti vise nego putovanje. Iskustvo putovanja te cini bogatom osobom, osobnom koja ima otvoren um za sve glupe predrasude ovog svijeta i osjecaj je super, a sjecanja jos bolja. Nadji svoj najdrazi nacin putovanja i idi, samo idi. Ono za cim najvise zalim danas je sto nikad nisam otisla na “backpacking”. Jednostavno nije bilo nesto sto se radilo u Hrvatskoj i nisam ni znala da to ljudi rade na zapadu. Uvijek cu poticati svoju djecu da idu i istrazuju svijet jer zaista ima utjecaj na osobnost u pozitivnom smislu.

I have a hard time understanding people who never leave their apartment even when they have a chance to, if I am being 100% honest (and I always am). I am not talking about traveling to Australia. It can be a 50 km trip to the woods. Nothing, but nothing in the world will teach you more than traveling. The experiences from traveling make you a rich, open-minded person and the feeling is great, the memories even better. Find your favorite way to travel and do it, just do it. My biggest regret today is that I never went backpacking. It was just not something people do in my country and I didn’t even know it’s a thing. I will always encourage my children to go and explore the world because it really changes who you are in a better way.

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Ono sto te cini tuznim drugi ne moraju nuzno razumijeti i odobravati. Svi mi imamo svoju granicu osjetljivost. Ja sam ona koja place. Isplacem sve i to je to. Nekad sam se osjecala lose zbog toga, a danas znam da je to moj nacin na koji se nosim s losim stvarima u zivotu. Ne shvacam ljude koji zive stalno vadeci “poker face” sve dok se potpuno ne slome jer se boje osude. Priznati sam sebi (i drugima) da nisi okej jer prvi korak prema rjesavanju problema i iskoristi tu priliku.

What makes you sad doesn’t have to be understood and approved from others. We all have different sensitivity bars. I am, for example, a crier. I just cry it out. Used to feel bad, now I am happy because I finally get that this is my way to go through it. I don’t understand people who pretend to be fine until they break down because they are afraid of judgments. Admitting that you are not ok is the first step to making it ok so use it.

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Jednom sam upoznala nekog tko me uvjerio u ovo i on je danas moj zarucnik. Kad stvari ne idu po planu, mozda to jednostavno nije ono sto ti treba. Postoji nesto bolje za tebe iako to u tom trenu ne vidis. Kad veza s nekim ne uspijeva, mozda to nije ta osoba. Kad ne dobijes posao koji zelis, pomislis li ikad da mozda ni ne znas da taj posao nije za tebe i zato ne ide? Sve se dogadja s razlogom i stavr da me nesto bolje ceka iako to ne vidim meni zaista pomaze u suocavanju s takvim situacijama. Pa…hvala mom Petteru zbog kojeg danas imam ovaj mindset!

I once met someone who made me believe in that and today he is my fiance. When things don’t go how you imagined, maybe there is something better, more suitable for you. When it doesn’t work out with this person, maybe it was not the right person. When you don’t get a job, probably it wasn’t your dream job. Everything happens for a reason and thinking that there is something better that will come makes me feel so much better! So, thank you Petter for teaching me how to think!


 

Inslee Hayness

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Ovaj post nije samo pregled svega sto sam prosla i sto sam naucila iz vlasitith primjera u zivot nego i podsjetnik na ono sto je vazno u buducnosti jer, budimo realni, u svakodnevnom zivotu lako zaboravimo na ove stvari. Eto, dobrodosla 25. i ja u njoj bas takva kakva zelim biti, sa svim savrsenim nesavrsenostima!

This post is not only to remind myself of what I have been through and what I have learnt on my own examples in life but also to stay here as a reminder of what what is important because let’s be honest, we all easily forget what actually matters. So cheers to 25 and being just what I want to be, with all my perfect imperfections!

 

xoxo

A.

 

 

 


 

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